top of page
Search
  • Writer's pictureSher Gentile

I AM NOT YOUR MOM...

PATTERNS LEAD TO ROLES.. ROLES LEAD TO PATTERNS ...

DISPUTE THAT..


I tell people I have MOM energy . I am a first responder, health crisis manager,

Finder of lost items and lost people.. “selfless” provider of help and fixer of any electronic gadget ... Go ahead , stand there and look confused or sad .. my GPS will find you .. ( I call it serendipity to keep repeating “the” pattern..)


I lead the band, I fix business plans, will point out what is missing from your diet, implore you to walk more .. you will tell me your stories, I will “understand” how broken you are .. I will try harder ..


After all.. “MOM” is here ..


Here’s my deal ... I have a broken little girl inside of me .. ( #danharris names his “soul pieces”... it works for easy identification and conversation )


“Stephanie” ( my given name until it was changed to Sherri Lynne) is still

seeking approval.. She is still closing her eyes, swallowing hard.. wondering how to make you pay attention to her .. she was a middle child .. she had her own mind .. the damn kid is a Gemini .. she ASKS QUESTIONS.. this pissed off the WASPY parental unit .. She was a “worrier” and the “problem” child .. ( she was told that .. she believes it). She is super smart .. But her “A” grades were never acknowledged as accomplishments. It was expected ..

No one ever knew REALLY who she was .. ( being a GEMINI.. she was many things). THIS CONFUSED THEM and her .. STEPHANIE NEEDS .. and that was not allowed .. STEPHANIE is afraid to be called NEEDY.. Like most women who grew up in the time she did .. “NEEDY”.. no.. you must wait. ASK NICELY...ALWAYS.. ALWAYS TRY TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO BE VALUABLE...


“STEPHANIE” morphed into SHERRI .. and she was the LIFE OF THE PARTY..

She was the sorority girl, a “Mean” girl.. ( she wore PINK on Wednesday). She was a FORCE .. she had bleach blonde hair .. she smacked her gum.. she wore short shorts ... she knew the power of the “gland”... (low cut .. who me?). SHERRI was KNOWN.. She was invited to every frat party.. she was befriended by the QUEEN BEE.. she smiled and got good grades.. sometimes in the most creative ways .. ( true story .. “SHERRI” got an A in Public Speech.. she never wrote a speech .. she “free styled”...) SHERRI tried to leave STEPHANIE at home.. STEPHANIE.. would not stay “home”... SHERRI tried to ignore the “Little Girl”.. this made STEPH cry out more .. but only “inside”


College ended .. “STEPHANIE” got scared.. This caused “SHERRI” to panic ..

“SHERILYN” came to the RESCUE “SHERILYN” was older, “wiser”.. she was all “business” ( she moved to Chicago .. she lived with her college professor...). She moved “in between”... she was a settled nice woman to those in her circle.. but SHERRI .. she loved to come out on business trips and modified “Spring breaks” to Florida ..she was looking for APPROVAL.. ( or chaos.. which ever happened). She cheated on her relationships ..( it was the 80s..). She had “FUN”.. hollow, zero soul growth “FUN”.. until SHERILYN scared it all away ...SHERILYN .. IS THE MOM..


I could go into more chapters .. And I will at a later date .. SUFFICE IT TO SAY..

NYC “SHERILYN” IS THE GEMINI TWIN PRESENTLY.. She has the answers, she is so competent .. she will identify your problems, address “said” problems ..figure out HOW to MAKE YOU NEED HER.. and be so Unhappy inside that no one ever asks her .. “WHAT DO YOU NEED?” ( her answer would be “I AM FINE” anyway .. )


2020.. UWS NYC “SHERILYN”.. seems unshakeable .. She directs her daughters through texts .. she fixes people and electronics.. she lost one of her best friends to COVID.. she still cries everyday .. ( because he never knew .. he was one of her best friends) Hell.. she went through a FIRE.. literally .. and she’s still “FINE”..


SHERILYN IS SERIOUS.. she jokes to mask her FEAR.. she jokes to keep STEPHANIE “inside” ..away from anyone who might actually meet her alter ego “little girl”...And not want to be her “friend”


She accepts that “people” need her .. she gets stuck in relationships that are unbalanced ..and she HATES it .. ( she is a true Gemini )


Yet to “balance”. She has to show she “NEEDS” ..And little STEPHANIE Is so afraid to be NEEDY...SHERRI never was ..and she berates SHERILYN for even suggesting it..


SHERILYN can be found “READING, WRITING, RUNNING” and ADVISING

and she is terrified .. SHERILYN WILL TURN 60.. ( someday .. if she’s lucky .. she will..) and she will be ALONE ...


SHERILYN “knows” her charm is partly in her LACK of NEED...


SHE WILL EVENTUALLY NEED...💔




6 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page